COFFEE TALK #6 - EVERYONE'S AN A-HOLE, BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE.

22:22 Jazz Blackwell 0 Comments


It is absolutely, one hundred percent, completely inevitable that at some point or other in your life you are going to encounter people who are the very definition of the term dickhead. Be it the teacher or boss who singles you out to pick on for no apparent reason, or the "friend" who is a wolf in sheep's clothing, or the school or work colleagues who try their damned best to make you feel insecure just so they can feel better about themselves. 

It's very easy, almost instinctive, to want to fight fire with fire. I know I personally have experienced every one of the people listed above and the temptation was to snap back, to shout, to make some petty post on social media. I'll hold my hands up and admit that at times I've given into temptation and done things that I later come to regret. But hindsight, as they say, is 20/20 and looking back with the lens of maturity and retrospective knowledge, I see now that I could've handled the situations so much better. 

I know that "kill 'em with kindness" is a cliché, and a grossly overused one at that. But it's true. Here's the thing; there's nothing that hurts the people who want to hurt you more than you being sweet as sugar to them. If someone is horrible to you for no reason and you're sweet as pie to them, people are going to realise that they're the one who's a knob, not you. You lose your shit and yell back, and you're just as bad as they are. I know as well as anyone that keeping your cool when somebody is being a dick is a difficult art to master and I'm afraid I'm going to lob another cliché at you; if you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. If you can't reply calmly to somebody who's trying to get at you, then just don't reply. It's better to keep quiet than to lose your temper. 

The key to not being a knob, I think, is - to quote the late and great Morcambe and Wise - good, strong, positive thinking. Again, not an easy thing to do - something I've struggled with myself. But it's something that can quite easily be learned. A good start to becoming more positive is issuing more compliments. You like your teacher's tie? Let him know. You think your friend's skirt is cute? Tell her. A customer at work has pretty nails? Give them the damned compliment. A magical thing starts happening when you compliment people - you actively start to look for things to compliment them on. And when you're looking for nice things in people, it makes the arseholes much easier to deal with. 

What do you guys think? Any more tips and tricks on how to deal with people who rub you the wrong way? I'd love to hear from you! 

Happy reading, 
Jazz xo


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